I can remember when I first got into university. I was excited, but once I got there, I kind of felt out of place. I thought everyone was smarter than me. I felt like I was just lucky to be there.
Even when I got into my graduate job, from the very first day I just felt so behind. I can remember going into college to begin our accountancy studies, and I felt like I didn’t have a clue what was happening. Again, the negative feelings and thoughts crept into my mind.
However, here I am two years later. I have graduate university like everyone else. I have also done well in my graduate job and passed all of my accountancy exams first time.
So, what was the worry about?
Well, these thoughts of being a fraud or having anxieties and insecurities are all part of a phenomenon known as imposter syndrome.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Two clinical psychologists, Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes, first identified and named the phenomenon back in 1978.
With imposter syndrome, a person doesn’t feel confident or competent, regardless of what they achieve. They don’t experience the joy of success because they are always waiting for their inadequacy and fraudulence to come to light.
Although Clance and Imes originally defined imposter syndrome to describe a condition they observed in professional women, research shows that men and women can equally suffer from imposter syndrome.
One thing I’ve dealt with is that it can cause people to feel a sense of time running out. It basically feels like I have been putting on an act and that I can’t keep this up for much longer. These thoughts and feelings often come in after achieving and overcoming certain obstacles. Once these are overcome, it sometimes feels like I am unable to keep going and achieving things in the future.
Where does Imposter Syndrome Come From?
Imposter syndrome is a cognitive distortion. It causes people to doubt their skills and accomplishments. They doubt others’ high regard for them. They doubt their own history and track record.
But where do this doubt and distortion come from? Although it can drag at a person’s mental health, imposter syndrome isn’t an official psychological condition and it has a variety of causes. Research has shown that imposter syndrome comes from a combination of factors:
- Family environment
- Social pressures
- Sense of belonging
- Personality
This isn’t an exhaustive list, but probably the main factors or combination of factors that can lead to it.
5 Ways to Deal With Imposter Syndrome
- Acknowledge it.
The first step to dealing with it is acknowledging it. Imposter syndrome, like most fear, is simply False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR). The American Psychological Association says that you’re not alone and that this feeling is perfectly normal. It typically shows up when you have been given an opportunity, such as being put in charge or promoted to a new position you don’t feel you’re ready for just yet.
When comparing yourself to others in similar circumstances it’s easy to obsess over your own personal flaws and all the reasons you don’t deserve to be in the circumstances in which you find yourself. And yet, you’ve been given a fantastic opportunity where your own concerns and self-doubt aren’t helping you.
- Realise the Truth
The irony of imposter syndrome is that it is usually the exact opposite of the truth. For example, if you got into your dream university where you don’t feel you’re good enough. What’s the truth of the situation? The truth is that you have achieved the necessary grades and have gone through a vigorous application process to get there. Someone more qualified than you has assessed your application and has concluded that you are good enough. So why tell yourself that you aren’t?
When you take a deep breath and take the time to acknowledge all that you have already accomplished, the fear of not being ready or qualified starts to dissipate. The truth is that you’ve done quite a lot to get where you are. The very things we tend to dismiss are the same things that others tend to hold in high regard.
- Know You’re not Alone
You’re not the only one having these feelings. There were so many times when I was at university in a lecture, and didn’t have a clue what was going on. I always used to look around and would see everyone taking notes thinking “damn, everyone can understand this better than me”. However, the truth is that most people were usually in the same boat as me.
You will be surprised how many people do share the same thoughts as you. It’s just very difficult to know as people don’t like to share the negative feelings or thoughts with each other.
Knowing you’re not alone can make it much easier to deal with. This can often give you the confidence to speak to others about any feelings or thoughts you may have.
- Stop Being a Perfectionist
Many people who suffer from impostor syndrome are high achievers; people who set extremely high standards for themselves and are committed to doing their best and being the best.
But perfectionism only feeds into your impostor syndrome. When you feel like a fraud, it’s usually because you’re comparing yourself to some *perfect* outcome that’s either impossible or unrealistic. I feel like this is something that has been exacerbated with social media. It’s such a crappy feeling when having a bad day, scrolling through Instagram and seeing someone your age living their best life.
However, not only can no one do everything perfectly, but holding yourself to that standard can actually be super counterproductive. At some point, you need to take a step back and ask yourself: When is good enough good enough?
- Be Kind to Yourself
Impostor syndrome often manifests itself as a voice in our heads, berating us with negative messages like “you’re not smart enough” or “you’re a fraud.”
Negative self-talk is a bad habit, and it can heavily influence our stress and anxiety levels.
“Being kind to yourself” simply means changing the way you talk to yourself in your head by practicing positive self-talk. Not only can it help you become less stress and anxious, but it can also help you build the courage to do things that’ll bring you greater rewards.
First, try to catch yourself whenever you have a negative thought. Then, turn around and challenge your own claim. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I just got lucky,” challenge that by thinking, “What steps did I take and what work did I put in to get to this point?”
Then, you can answer your own question using affirmations, which are short, focused, positive statements about a goal you have. In this case, one might be as simple as, “I worked hard – and I always work hard.”
Bottom line is that you are a human. Humans make mistakes. You will, too.
However, “Practicing self-compassion will help you tame your inner critic.”
